do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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