Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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