is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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