Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
