hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Damn victory sex feels great
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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