He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
