Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
