Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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