no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
