my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
