Dual....:-)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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