dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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