Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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