maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
