I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize