yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We just shotgunned beers for America
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
