The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
