White coat. Heels.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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