I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
