Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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