Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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