Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
