plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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