Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
