I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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