Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
