Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
