how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
