I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
