I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I FOUND THE LEGS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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