I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
