Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
