My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
