Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
