what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
