He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
