My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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