Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
