that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
