hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
