I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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