My balls are so social today.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
