Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
