All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
