Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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