i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
