His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
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You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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