I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
