am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
