shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
