Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
