I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
