im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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