every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
