He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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