You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize