pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
