yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
