I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
