So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
