from now on my penis is your penis
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
