I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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