There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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