I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
