I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
