Need sex. Gaining weight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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