I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
